Comment on English novel study by mrmorris

Owen,

Excellent choice of reading for your independent novel study!

Stars:
– This piece does a great job of explaining Celia’s wants and fears which shows great attention to detail within the text.
– Wonderful use of literary terms to discuss how Celia’s static / flat character at this point in your reading.

Wishes:
– Remember to read work aloud before submitting in order to catch typos, changes in tense. Example: “The character, again and again has been tortured” might be edited to “the character, again and again is tortured.”
– Try to integrate quotations / evidence fully into this text by introducing it and explaining directly what this evidence tells us about the character. Don’t let your reader guess!

Great work, I am looking forward to reading your final responses.

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Comment on Sophie’s World Book Review by mrmorris

Carter,

An excellent first scene response!

Stars:
– Quotations / evidence is well integrated and explained. Each piece of evidence points directly one of Sophie’s wants/fears/conflicts within the text.

– Clear explanation of how Sophie is a socially responsible character.

Wishes:
– Be careful with tense changes / to-be verbs within this response. Example: “Sophie had been worried that Joanna would be mad at her, but there was no need to be worried.”

I am looking forward to reading your final responses.

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Comment on To Kill A Mockingbird: Scene 1 by mrmorris

Sophia,

An excellent and topical novel choice!

Stars:
– Writing in this piece is quite concise and economical. Quotations / evidence are integrated smoothly into the body of your work.
– Very clear discussion of Scout’s conflicts / hopes / fears. It is wonderful to see your attention to detail in the novel.

Wishes:
– Remember to stick to the present tense / active voice when discussing literature. For example: “She was conflicted, she didn’t know whether to listen to herself or her father,” might be edited to “She is conflicted and doesn’t know whether to listen to herself or her father.”

– How might you expand more fully on your experience / connections to the text? Does Scout embody any of the traits of a socially responsible student in this scene?

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Comment on English 10 – Independent Novel Study Analysis (Oryx and Crake) by mrmorris

Emily,

An absolutely excellent choice of novel — Margaret Atwood is a prolific Canadian writer!

Stars:
– Excellent integration of evidence / quotations within your writing. The evidence in this piece flows smoothly and helps to elaborate on the strengths and weaknesses of Jimmy within the text.

– Close reading of the text shows a detailed understanding of Jimmy’s wants and fears — I am glad to see you are enjoying your read.

Wishes:
– What impresses you / doesn’t impress you about your chosen scene? Jump right into the action of the text by making a personal statement right at the beginning of your post.

– Be careful with shifting tenses / tighten up concision by avoiding “to be” verbs.
For example: “This causes me to believe Jimmy would not be a strong role model, as he is easily influenced himself, as shown through his taste in media.” How might you change this to be in the present tense / active voice?

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Comment on Sophie’s World: Scene 1 by mrmorris

Michelle,

Your novel sounds like an intriguing read, I am looking forward to hearing more!

Stars:
– Smooth integration of quotations from the text within your own writing, as well as great use of square brackets to show your own edits to provided evidence.
– This piece does a great job of expressing your own opinions and critiquing Sophie’s actions. It is wonderful to see your engagement with the text!
Wishes:
– Read work aloud before submitting in order to catch sentence fragments and tense changes (try to stick to present tense verbs when discussing literature). Example: “Even whilst trespassing, she steals something from the property. It was a letter and although her name had been written on it, it doesn’t make it any better of a reason to steal it because it had not been given to her yet.”
– How might you expand on your personal connections to the text by providing specific examples / reasons for your critiques?

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Comment on Scene 1: The hatred between Winston and his “Big Brother” by mrmorris

Jason,

Excellent novel choice for your independent novel study!

Stars:
– Great use of evidence in the form of quotations from your reading.
– This response does an excellent job of integrating your thoughts on Winston’s character, and connects well to the social responsibility profile from the curriculum. Don’t be afraid in a personal response to use “I”.

Wishes:
– Remember to read your work aloud to yourself to catch any run-on sentences or any changes in tense throughout your work.
Example: “Despite this, acting on occasional “Thought-crimes” towards the government is the only way he is able to fight this conflict since he is unable to circulate these opinions and is frightened to attempt taking part in a revolutionary movement.”
– How might you incorporate the language we have discussed in class regarding conflict (internal and external) into this response?

Keep up the great work, I am looking forward to reading your final assignment.

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