Comment on Document of learning; The Dreaded Speech by bryanjack

Hi Azaly,

I think this is a great ‘moment’ for us to look in on Nash and the complexity of his life and character. It allows you a chance to get ‘out there’ some as well, which is an excellent challenge!

Something from a writing perspective to bring to your speech might be to try and shape a more fluid narrative within this particular moment; as it reads now, some elements (referring back to his genius, for instance) seem a little ‘shoe-horned’ into the story. Is there a way his particular rant here could begin perhaps with Nash thinking/speaking about his work at MIT, or game theory, and slowly emanate outwards toward his more schizophrenic impressions? In short, if the audience could see him move from what appears to be a sane, brilliant man, to a more unhinged person on the doorstep of shock therapy. This will give you more of an opportunity to shift your energy and the drama in your scene from the small and calm to the more large and raving, and the sense of dynamics that this brings.

That may mess with how you’ve chosen to stage your monologue – straight jacket, etc – but is still something you could work in with some clever writing…

What do you think?

Thanks for sharing your draft! Keep plugging away, and I’m sure it will come to life magically Wednesday night!

Mr. J

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