Comment on Georges Danton: “My only regret is that I am going before that rat Robespierre.” by talonsemmaf

Stars and Wishes: Address

Stars: Address to character’s sons was an unusual and effective way to engage the audience and create some sympathy for Danton. The emotional aspect of the performance was very very believable, and the arc of your performance was easy to follow.

Wishes: I would have loved to see some more historical evidence in the content, but otherwise, a super solid and entertaining address. Yay!

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Comment on Georges Danton: “My only regret is that I am going before that rat Robespierre.” by talonsemmaf

Stars and Wishes for Blog Posts:

Stars: The letter format is a great attention grabber at the beginning of the post, and effectively shows the relationship between your character and Camille. I particularly enjoy the contrast in the last post with your address to Robespierre. Your opinions on various topics in the revolution are very clear and well stated.

Wishes: I would have liked to seen a little more reference to some of the larger events in the revolution that affected your character, specifically in the last post, where the audience would like to see a bit more of what caused France’s down fall.

Love the dramatic language; makes for a very interesting and refreshing pieces of writing.

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Comment on Jean Sylvain Bailly: Je ne tremble pas by Jamie Fajber

Aaaaand your final address:

STARS:
1) Your writing of the speech was very clear – you were organized to the point where it was very easy to follow you as you spoke.
2) Dramatic engagement = A+!

WISHES: (Again, CRAZY good!)
1) If I had one wish, it would be that you wouldn’t say “like.” I was perking my ears up to listen, and you only said it a few times.
^I know I’m nitpicking, but the presentation was good enough I didn’t have many wishes.

Good? Let me know if you need more.

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Comment on Jean Sylvain Bailly: Je ne tremble pas by Jamie Fajber

Lovely, lovely, lovely.

STARS:
1) Dry humor – adds flavor to the writing as well as helps me engage with your character.
2) Well researched text – common references to various dates, locations, events and people add a tone of expertise to the passages.
3) The French! The fact that you took the time to often use a little more of the french language really helped with the feeling of living in France!

WISHES: (Remember, these posts are BADASS in their goodness.)
1) Possibly a little more discussion of the major events in the Revolution? This is to say, you speak about your character, but sometimes I feel the big picture has been a little underrepresented.

You have a gift, yo!

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